Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
