Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
