Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
