her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
