May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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