so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
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I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
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This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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