he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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