Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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