I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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