I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
