i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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