Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
