The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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