Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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