i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh god it's open bar.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
