I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
