Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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