Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
