Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
