I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
