LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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