She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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