I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize