Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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