I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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