had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize