Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
