yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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