I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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