New low: just hacked my moms facebook
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
