My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
