the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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