"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize