I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
