we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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