3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
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I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
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I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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