dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize