i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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