Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
