Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
