What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
