evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
