I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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