i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
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At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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