Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
