a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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