forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
