Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
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he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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