A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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