I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
