2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
