dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
