I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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