He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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