Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
COCAINE IS GR8
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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