Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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