I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
