I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
