home. puking in laundry basket.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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