Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
