Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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